I was only a child


A lot of people already know about some of the stuff that happened to me as a kid, but I don’t think anybody but my sister knows everything that went on.  I’m not even sure that Vicky knows every detail since she was so young when it happened.  At any rate, I’ve forgiven my (now dead) step-father for what he did, and I’ve forgiven my mother for her involvement.  I’ve always heard that it’s easier to just forget than to forgive, but in this instance I find that the reverse is true.  I have forgiven, but I don’t think I’ll ever forget.  The only reason that this gets brought up today is that I received a disturbing email from my mom the other day and now it’s dredging up old feelings again.  I just want to put it behind me.  I’m tired of being upset by this.  I’m tired of having intimacy issues with my husband.  I’m tired of suspecting everybody of being a sex offender.  I need a break from the damage.

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