P3 Day 10

I had a rough night with Nicholas last night.  He’s been pulling some seriously sneaky stuff lately and so Aaron and I had to deal with it.  I went to bed angry at Nick and woke up still angry.  I just don’t trust my son anymore and I hate this feeling.  I swore that if I raised my kids right, they wouldn’t be pulling these kinds of stunts, and I think I got my wake up call last night.  I think that I try to give God control of everything else in my life except for my kids, because I can handle my kids.  I need Him to handle everything else, but I got my kids.  It was like a slap in the face last night to realize that I haven’t given control of them over to Him yet. 

So that being said, I really wanted to eat last night.  I wanted to eat a greasy hamburger.  I wanted to eat some lasagna.  I wanted spaghetti.  I wanted enchiladas.  I wanted anything to help stuff this anger down inside and bury it under a pile of food.  I didn’t give in and I’m glad now that I didn’t, but it was hard.  Being a parent is even tougher than trying to lose weight.  I feel like a failure.


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. hiddenbeauty
    Sep 14, 2010 @ 12:51:57

    Oh friend, I’m so sorry. (hugs)
    I’ll will be praying for your son.
    Despite your awful night, you were strong and didn’t eat because of your emotions, that is wonderful!♥♥

    Don’t feel like a failure, because you’re NOT! God loves your son even more than you and wants the best for him. Lift your son up to our Father and be at peace.

    Love you!!


  2. TonnieLoree
    Sep 15, 2010 @ 15:14:10

    I ate it for you. Remember, I just got my drops today. We are going to be an awesome team; you, me and Erica. Nick will turn out to be just fine, because you care with all of your heart. If a child never stumbles, how do you, as the parent, grow to accommodate for the next screw-up? Somehow, we are all in this together. Love you, Mommy


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