October 18, 2010

Diana’s Life Celebration service was just beautiful!  I cried the whole time, so much so that this morning when I woke up, my eyes were still very puffy (as in my bottom eye lids were as swollen as my upper eyelids, and I got a glimpse of what I might look like when I’m 50).  Cam (Diana’s husband) got up and talked about her and that was really hard to see.  He said that the boys crawl into bed with him at night and tell him they miss their mommy, and his five year old, Dawson, keeps asking when mommy will be coming back from Heaven.  Oh my heart!

Now the healing can begin even though it’s still hard to believe she’s gone.  They can start to move forward from here, and I’m confident that God is going to do something amazing in their lives.

Today is day one of quitting smoking *again* oh my.  I have my nicotine patch on (the only thing that I’ve found that comes close to helping me quit) and I’m ready to go.  I quit food, I can quit smoking.  After going through HCG, I now see  how similar “quitting” my addiction to food is to quitting smoking.  The first few days I will be obsessed with the though of smoking, although only out of habit.  Just like the HCG drops helped control the hunger, the nicotine patch helps control the nicotine cravings.  It’s just the habit of going outside to have a cigarette every hour that is so difficult to get over.  Wish me luck.  I will miss smoking.


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